Living Awesome at Sunday Assembly

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Last Sunday I had the privilege of presenting Living Awesome at Sunday Assembly

Sunday Assembly Detroit is a secular congregation that meets to hear great talks, sing songs and generally celebrate the wonder of life. It’s a service for anyone who wants to live better, help often, and wonder more.

Never settle for ordinary, for You Are Awesome! You also have the ability to be fabulous, You are filled with passion, and You can experience fantastic things. Our guest speaker for the month of September will be Doug Van Slembrouck, will tell us about the 10 Principles of Living Awesome, followed by a Q&A session.

 

TEDx Detroit


YOU ARE AWESOME!
Start Fucking Acting Like It!


Today I’m going to tell you how I learned how to be awesome, and what I do every day to make sure I Stay Awesome!

Hulk Smash



There is nothing short of an outright injustice or physical violence can happen to you that you couldn’t in some way recover from.

If you send a bad steak back, the world will not end.
If you lose your job, you will not die.
If you break up your girlfriend, everything will, in fact, be ok

My So Called Life


So Why then did I used to (and most of the western world still do) believe that I can’t
do exactly what I want, when I want, how I want?

For a long time, this is how I behaved, always asking permission, always apologizing.

I was so afraid of failing and not achieving that I just swam along with everyone else,
delaying my happiness until some future date.

DO WORK!


The reason that most people behave this way is because I think we have confused the ideas of “doing” with “achieving”. So many of us have had goals that have never been reached because we focus on the end result so much.

You might say, “I want to go to Disneyland.” That is not doing. That is achievement.
You might say, “I want to drive a sports car.” That is not doing. That is achievement.

What is DOING then?
DOING is filling your time with AWESOME EXPERIENCES

Doing is living your life in such a way that when you work you think about work and when you play you think about play.

Doing is enjoying your meals and seeking out amazing restaurants.
Doing is enjoying the act of driving. Doing is attending fun conferences.

YOUR REALITY, those things you DO will add up very quickly to an AWESOME life.

I’ll Just Do It My Way


To try to achieve before trying to DO, you sentence yourself to never-ending misery.

Your achievements are rarely met and, when they are met, rarely live up to expectations.

Doing is being in love with yourself and with your own life.

DO it yourself, and passionately.
I’m not a stupid cheddar goldfish, I’m a sweet and tasty Swedish fish, and damnit, I’m swimming this way!

When you feel like you’re not LOVING yourself and YOUR life, change IT!

Anyone can be cool, but Being Awesome Takes Practice


Easier said than done, right?
How do I change my life?

So, everyone can act cool, but being awesome takes real practice.
You need a way to measure it.

I believe the way to Be Awesome is to Make EVERYTHING PLUS 10.

Keep Calm and Make it Plus 10!


“Plus 10″ is the highest score that can be reached when using Anthony Robbins’
quality quantifiers system.

The idea is simple. Take any aspect or experience of your life and give it a score
between “Minus 10″ and “Plus 10″, where “Minus 10″ is an awful experience
and “Plus 10″ is a totally AWESOME experience.

What does being “Plus 10″ mean?


Now that you have this score, ask yourself, in everything you do,
“What would it take to make this a ‘Plus 10′ AWESOME experience?”

Always Being Awesome will allow you to:

Always Being Awesome will allow you to:
1. Aggressively Pursue Your Reality


Weather you agree with these people or not, they all have one thing in common:

They all aggressively pursue their own reality. They don’t ask, they DO.

Don’t let people put place their reality on you. Make your own.
“Well, the problem with that is…”
“You know, 8 out of 10 restaurants fail…”
“You’ll see, when you have kids, you won’t sleep…”

I strongly reject your reality, and instead replace it with my own!

Always Being Awesome will allow you to:
2. Fight Mediocrity Zombies.


“What do you want to do?”
“Well, the problem with that is…”
“You know, Obama will….”

These are the people that live for the weekend, follow the status quo, and will
bring you down if you let them

Since they can’t be awesome on their own, they will try to make sure you stick with
them as they suck your energy away.

By Making your experiences PLUS10 and Living Awesome, you can avoid these life sucking zombies, because you will be
pursuing YOUR reality.

Always Being Awesome will allow you to:
3. Consistently achieve your actual goals


It all adds up if you focus on experiences

You Are All Awesome, and Now You Know How to Be


DO FIRST, without any concern for achievement, and you will

So today, think about how you can make each moment, each interaction here, as close to PLUS 10 as you can

Go Forth And Be Awesome!!


To DO first, without the thought of achievement, is to achieve bliss in each
moment and increases the likelihood and frequency of achievement as a co-product of your actions.

Think of this the next time you pour water from an open tap, have a new experience, or meet someone new.

For your life today, what does it mean to Be Awesome?
What can you do TODAY that is PLUS 10?

So today I challenge you, for each interaction, each new person you meet,
make it PLUS 10!






What do you DO?

After the very inspirational experience at TEDxDetroit, I had a very clear follow-up idea for how to take the Plus10, Live Awesome message to the next level, and apply it even more specifically to day to day life.

Your JOB does NOT define you. Who you ARE is what defines you. Each of us can DO MANY things.

What do (can) you DO? For the best happiness and long term achievement, focus on THOSE things.

The money/success/reward will follow. You will, in fact, be able to THRIVE.

So many of us are so afraid to fail because we focus on achievement first, and very often get very stuck.

In that vein, here is what I AM:

I am many things, and each one of those things brings me happiness, reward, achievement, and (in most cases) but least important, money.

DO the things you CAN do. The rest will follow. ACHIEVEMENT is a result of DOING! Start DOING today!

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How To Be Awesome – TEDxDetroit

The video from Friday’s TEDx talk will be posted shortly.
In the mean time, here is my script and slides, as well as some photos from the Gem Theatre.


YOU ARE AWESOME!
Start Fucking Acting Like It!


Today I’m going to tell you how I learned how to be awesome, and what I do every day to make sure I Stay Awesome!

Hulk Smash



There is nothing short of an outright injustice or physical violence can happen to you that you couldn’t in some way recover from.

If you send a bad steak back, the world will not end.
If you lose your job, you will not die.
If you break up your girlfriend, everything will, in fact, be ok

My So Called Life


So Why then did I used to (and most of the western world still do) believe that I can’t
do exactly what I want, when I want, how I want?

For a long time, this is how I behaved, always asking permission, always apologizing.

I was so afraid of failing and not achieving that I just swam along with everyone else,
delaying my happiness until some future date.

DO WORK!


The reason that most people behave this way is because I think we have confused the ideas of “doing” with “achieving”. So many of us have had goals that have never been reached because we focus on the end result so much.

You might say, “I want to go to Disneyland.” That is not doing. That is achievement.
You might say, “I want to drive a sports car.” That is not doing. That is achievement.

What is DOING then?
DOING is filling your time with AWESOME EXPERIENCES

Doing is living your life in such a way that when you work you think about work and when you play you think about play.

Doing is enjoying your meals and seeking out amazing restaurants.
Doing is enjoying the act of driving. Doing is attending fun conferences.

YOUR REALITY, those things you DO will add up very quickly to an AWESOME life.

I’ll Just Do It My Way


To try to achieve before trying to DO, you sentence yourself to never-ending misery.

Your achievements are rarely met and, when they are met, rarely live up to expectations.

Doing is being in love with yourself and with your own life.

DO it yourself, and passionately.
I’m not a stupid cheddar goldfish, I’m a sweet and tasty Swedish fish, and damnit, I’m swimming this way!

When you feel like you’re not LOVING yourself and YOUR life, change IT!

Anyone can be cool, but Being Awesome Takes Practice


Easier said than done, right?
How do I change my life?

So, everyone can act cool, but being awesome takes real practice.
You need a way to measure it.

I believe the way to Be Awesome is to Make EVERYTHING PLUS 10.

Keep Calm and Make it Plus 10!


“Plus 10″ is the highest score that can be reached when using Anthony Robbins’
quality quantifiers system.

The idea is simple. Take any aspect or experience of your life and give it a score
between “Minus 10″ and “Plus 10″, where “Minus 10″ is an awful experience
and “Plus 10″ is a totally AWESOME experience.

What does being “Plus 10″ mean?


Now that you have this score, ask yourself, in everything you do,
“What would it take to make this a ‘Plus 10′ AWESOME experience?”

Always Being Awesome will allow you to:

Always Being Awesome will allow you to:
1. Aggressively Pursue Your Reality


Weather you agree with these people or not, they all have one thing in common:

They all aggressively pursue their own reality. They don’t ask, they DO.

Don’t let people put place their reality on you. Make your own.
“Well, the problem with that is…”
“You know, 8 out of 10 restaurants fail…”
“You’ll see, when you have kids, you won’t sleep…”

I strongly reject your reality, and instead replace it with my own!

Always Being Awesome will allow you to:
2. Fight Mediocrity Zombies.


“What do you want to do?”
“Well, the problem with that is…”
“You know, Obama will….”

These are the people that live for the weekend, follow the status quo, and will
bring you down if you let them

Since they can’t be awesome on their own, they will try to make sure you stick with
them as they suck your energy away.

By Making your experiences PLUS10 and Living Awesome, you can avoid these life sucking zombies, because you will be
pursuing YOUR reality.

Always Being Awesome will allow you to:
3. Consistently achieve your actual goals


It all adds up if you focus on experiences

You Are All Awesome, and Now You Know How to Be


DO FIRST, without any concern for achievement, and you will

So today, think about how you can make each moment, each interaction here, as close to PLUS 10 as you can

Go Forth And Be Awesome!!


To DO first, without the thought of achievement, is to achieve bliss in each
moment and increases the likelihood and frequency of achievement as a co-product of your actions.

Think of this the next time you pour water from an open tap, have a new experience, or meet someone new.

For your life today, what does it mean to Be Awesome?
What can you do TODAY that is PLUS 10?

So today I challenge you, for each interaction, each new person you meet,
make it PLUS 10!






The Art of Living Awesome

In preparation for TEDxDetroit 2012, where I plan on giving the first Art of Living Awesome talk, I’ve migrated all posted related to Living Awesome here, to finish up my presentation, and be the basis for the upcoming Living Awesome book!

3 Principles of Living Awesome:
1. Aggressively Pursue Your Reality
2. Never Suffer Fools
3. Constantly Fight Mediocrity Zombies.

You Are Awesome. Start F***ing Acting Like It!

The Art of Being Awesome

Nothing short of an outright injustice can happen to you that you couldn’t in some way recover from.

If you send a bad steak back, the world will not end. If you get fired, you will not die. If you express an opinion on something, the government does not show up at your door and haul you to prison.

Why then did I (and most of the western world still do) believe that I can’t do exactly what I want, when I want, how I want?

I believe it is because we have confused the ideas of
“doing” with “achieving”.

Fortunately, I also believe the solution is to Always Be Awesome.

What does being “Plus 10″ mean?
“Plus 10″ is the highest score that can be achieved when using Anthony Robbins’ quality quantifiers system. 

The idea is simple. Take any aspect or experience of your life and give it a score between “Minus 10″ and “Plus 10″, where “Minus 10″ is an awful experience and “Plus 10″ is a totally AWESOME experience.

Now that you have this score, ask yourself, in everything you do, “What would it take to make this a ‘Plus 10′ AWESOME experience?”


Always Being Awesome will allow you to:

Aggressively Pursue Your Reality, Never Suffer Fools, and Constantly Fight Mediocrity Zombies.

10 More Principles of Living Awesome:

1. Remember to Know Thy Self
2. Never settle for ordinary & always reject the mediocre
3. Surround yourself with Awesome (people, things, and environments)
4. Always be Plus 10, make things Plus 10, and then push it 20% more
7. Everything is Easy, it’s just Time that is the constraint
8. Be The Oasis in each room, but choose your rooms
9. In all conversation, behave as a Ghost, but always burn with your Flame
10. Micromanage your Self – Slow down, Say No, & Delegate

Archived Articles
April 7, 2010: Preparation is as important as Action

March 31, 2010: Awesome Fitness

March 27, 2010: The new (old) +10!

Feb 26, 2009: Awesome gift

June 26, 2008: Unexpected +10 Role Models

June 23, 2008: Today is not +10 and it is my own damn fault!

June 23, 2008: Metaphors for life

June 23, 2008: What does it mean to Live Awesome?

June 10, 2008: Living Awesome is…

June 10, 2008: Sometime It’s Not That Awesome

May 27, 2008: Being Awesome Is …

April 29, 2008: Who is Awesome and Why?

April 28: 2008 – Plus 10!

April 11, 2008: The Year of Living Awesome has begun!

Never settle for ordinary, for You Are Awesome!

You also have the ability to be fabulous, You are filled with passion, and You can experience fantastic things. There are 10 Principles of Living Awesome.

This blog explains these principles, and provides stories and examples for Living Awesome.
Credit for some original posts goes to Mike Grant my co-author and co-creator,  and I will update the author links shortly.

Preparation is as important as Action

“The four stages of the self-discipline process are:

  1. Decision to act
  2. Preparation
  3. Action
  4. Completion/Maintenance

“Most people wrongfully start the self-discipline process at the Action Stage, when in fact they are psychologically at the Decision [or] Preparation Stage.

This is a quote from Self Discipline in 10 Days by Theodore Bryant. I think it ties in nicely with Getting Things Done by David Allen.

Goals worth achieving are intimidating. I find that I have often overcome this intimidation by Action. This is better than remaining paralyzed by fear, but often leads to mediocre results.

Preparation is important. Preparing too long is a sign of fear of Action. Not preparing at all is a sign of a lack of self-confidence, because you fear that if you prepare, you’ll never overcome the fear of Action or that if you truly prepared, you would have to admit personal failure, rather than blame your failure on an “external” factor, like not enough time to prepare.

Awesome Fitness

I’m reading Body Mind Mastery by @pwDan. One of the ideas he puts forth is effort without effort. Athletic activity should require no more concentration than walking down the street or passing the salt. The very effort of trying disrupts the rhythm and impedes progress.

I tried this concept this morning while weight training.

As I reached my maximum weight for each exercise, rather than huff and puff while scrunching my face and groaning, I concentrated on my breath, put a smile on my face, and moved through the exercise with no fear of failure and no desire for achievement. The results were fantastic. I hit new highs and felt a surge of energy after the workout.

I’m excited to read more of this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Body-Mind-Mastery-Creating-Success/dp/1577310942/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1270064458&sr=8-1

The new (old) +10!

A friend of mine asked me, “So, was yesterday the best day of your life?”

I said, “No. Why do you ask?”

He said, “Well, your facebook status said, ‘+10!’ so I assumed that you must have had the best day of your life.”

He was right to ask.

The +10! philosophy is really taking hold. So much so that when I meet friends, or even acquaintances, I am greeted with an enthusiastic “+10!” By espousing this philosophy so strongly, I have actually diluted it. I am now returning to its roots.

I have stopped asking myself, “How can I make this +10?” The state of +10 is so mind-blowing, that it is very difficult to go from a state of +7 to +10 let alone from a +1 to a +10 with a single plan of action.

I am now making a point to consciously choose my score (right now is a +2, by the way) and then ask myself, “How can I increase this by an increment of 1?” (+3 in this case). I then perform this exercise several times a day.

Doing so has led to higher overall happiness (scores) on a consistent basis.

Unexpected +10 Role Models

Last night I went out Salsa dancing. I really enjoy Salsa dancing. I’m not a natural dancer, but I practice a few nights a week and I’ve really improved. I consider Salsa dancing one of my personal +10 activities, because it really makes me happy.

As the music started playing, there was the usual awkward “8th grade moment” where the people separate into three groups.

  1. People who are definitely going to dance.
  2. People who might dance if asked.
  3. Those who are just there to watch.

Since I am out to make my night +10, I am in the first group. I start scanning the room for a woman in “group 1”. I find her. We dance. She was not bad, but was not good either. She was better than most, but couldn’t keep a beat. If you’ve ever partner danced before, you know that this situation can’t be sustained all night. So, after a couple of songs, I politely moved on to look for another partner. All the “group 1” women were taken so I started looking for some “group 2” women (women who might dance if asked).

My eye catches a very attractive woman who is smiling while watching the others dance. She’s tapping her toe and you can see her hips swaying virtually imperceptibly to the music. This is defintely a “group 2” woman. She wants to dance. She’s just not going to make the first move. I walk over and introduce myself and she is DELIGHTED to dance.

So, we start dancing. Within 5 seconds I can already tell that this woman is WAY BETTER AT SALSA than me. We’re having a good time and we start chatting. She’s a doctor. WHA?

Now, don’t misinterpret my statement and infer that I don’t think doctors can dance. That’s not the point. My point is that the doctors I have encountered work very long hours, do not take care of themselves, are always tired, and certainly don’t have time to go dancing on a Wednesday night. Let me review the attributes of this woman…

  • SMART – She’s a doctor!
  • Beautiful – you had to be there, but believe me, she was.
  • Fit – You could bounce a quarter off of this woman’s abs.
  • Happy – Happy eyes, happy smile, happy everything.
  • Graceful – An unbelievable dancer.
  • Gracious – I was so not-in-her league (dancing-wise) but she never showed any sign of discontent. She just enjoyed dancing with me at the level I was at.
  • Married – just in case you’re wondering if I asked her out. No, I didn’t 🙂

After a few dances we switched partners. She went on to a man who I have seen dance before and I knew was very good. When these two started dancing, it was like an atom bomb went off. I have never seen such an awesome display of skill and grace, not even in a movie. It was fantastic.

 What am I driving at?

Some days, I look in the mirror and I feel like I’m doing pretty well for myself. That’s great, but if you look at yourself like that for too many days in a row, you start to lose your edge. That’s what has been happening to me over the last couple of weeks. Meeting this woman last night was a great reminder that you can always do something to be closer to +10. If a doctor, who likely works 60 hours a week, can make time to eat right, exercise, and learn to dance like Ginger Rogers (oh, and I think she’s probably 5 years younger than me), all while maintaining a genuine smile on her face, then what excuse do I have to not work just a little bit harder at being all that I can be? Pretty much none…

Goddamn, I love striving for +10!